The wait
A sharp pain along the side of my ribs forced me back into reality. Still half asleep I managed to open those dry eyes and found a pair of craft scissors lying near me on the bed.
How dare it break my state of dreams ! and how did it get here? Then I saw a roll of brown tape and remembered that this must be from last night when I was patching up an envelope which had become torn at the edges.
I sat up and hit the button on my phone; it lit up and said Monday. Oh god damn it, why a Monday ? I sat up cursing the heavens and glanced up at 'her' half of the bed. Instead of her I found these :
1) Two books by Robert Galbraith
2) A diary, a laptop and a hard drive stacked neatly one atop the other.
3) Stapler
4) Torn corner from a pack of Lays potato chips
5) Pamphlet from a nearby food store which read free home delivery in bold
6) Many ATM receipts
7) Half eaten pack of biscuits which was all soggy because of the moisture from the rain a few days back.
8) and a jungle of wires from 3 kinds of chargers, a headphone, a wired mouse and a set of 2.1 speaker system
I was just about to decide what do do with all this rubbish when suddenly the phone rang and brought a smile to my face. Its was her !
Her: Hey you
Me : Morning
Her: Did you just wake up, its 9.30 !
Me: As usual
Her: You never learn
Me: I gotta reach office, cant miss a single day; gotta save all that vacation time for when I come.
Her: Yeah I know. When its time and you do come ; bring along that book we chose together without fail.
Me: Yep, got it right here next me me on the bed. Call you after lunch. Bye
I picked it up from among other items and it made me smile because the baby's face on the 'baby record book' is kinda cute !
True story.
Place : Pune
Want some experience ?
Found this in my inbox recently :
Its been 7 years since I started out as a IT professional. After a spending considerable time taking interviews and finding more and more amusing characters I had been of the opinion that its just people who are stupid and may be the gods of luck have kept them alive. I've never been so wrong.
Now I sit here like an idiot speculating the possibility how many of those had taken the services of Mr P here. No wonder some one with 5 years in the industry could not answer a basic question.
I must say I'm quite amused. Indians surely do know how to exploit a basic requirement of job hopping in IT and make a business model out of it.
There is more talent in our country than a hundred of the business schools in the world put together.
Its been 7 years since I started out as a IT professional. After a spending considerable time taking interviews and finding more and more amusing characters I had been of the opinion that its just people who are stupid and may be the gods of luck have kept them alive. I've never been so wrong.
Now I sit here like an idiot speculating the possibility how many of those had taken the services of Mr P here. No wonder some one with 5 years in the industry could not answer a basic question.
I must say I'm quite amused. Indians surely do know how to exploit a basic requirement of job hopping in IT and make a business model out of it.
There is more talent in our country than a hundred of the business schools in the world put together.
UK Diaries
Chapter 1
I had been waiting for her for quite some time now.
She asks how my day has been. I say nothing but smile.
She collects her stuff; her shift is over.
I gather my stuff, what I had been waiting for is now with me.
I get out; she follows.
We walk to the parking lot.
She puts on her leather jacket, I fit into my hoodie. It is chilly.
She gets into her Volkswagen Passat; I hunt for a precious thing in my bag
She puts on loud music; I find the piece of paper
She fires up the engine, I pull out a pen.
She screeches to a start; I fill in the usual fare on the taxi receipt.
She disappears; I think about submitting fake bills to claim real pounds, cha-ching!!
Place: ASDA-Walmart cash counter.
Time: Irrelevant.
I had been waiting for her for quite some time now.
She asks how my day has been. I say nothing but smile.
She collects her stuff; her shift is over.
I gather my stuff, what I had been waiting for is now with me.
I get out; she follows.
We walk to the parking lot.
She puts on her leather jacket, I fit into my hoodie. It is chilly.
She gets into her Volkswagen Passat; I hunt for a precious thing in my bag
She puts on loud music; I find the piece of paper
She fires up the engine, I pull out a pen.
She screeches to a start; I fill in the usual fare on the taxi receipt.
She disappears; I think about submitting fake bills to claim real pounds, cha-ching!!
Place: ASDA-Walmart cash counter.
Time: Irrelevant.
An excerpt from a chat with a friend who happens to be a DBA on the occasion of us completing 4 years as IT Donkeys :)
Participants:
-------------
Me, Maddy
Messages:
---------
Maddy: gj
Me: Ladke
Maddy: bol bhai
Me: Kuch nai
Me: Sala 4 saal ho gaye
Maddy: haan yaar...
Maddy: buddha ho gaya
Maddy: aur abhi bhi mereko kuch nahi aata :D
Me: Hahaa
Me: I've learned some things
Me: Like how to handle ppl/ manager
Me: How to idiot banao them also
Maddy: he he
Me: In short, the 1st chapter of office politics
Maddy: sometimes i feel why do we get paid so much to run some queries... me alters and u selects :D then i realize these bloody companies charge billions of dollars to client for this service and we actually end up with peanuts
Me: True
Me: Man this chat is so going into my blog :)
Maddy: abhi mera case lelo... i am here for L3 kt tasks
Me: Ok
Maddy: once transferred some of the guys here will leave 80 euros per hour wala project and we'll do L3 and what do we get paid for that
Maddy: GHANTA
Maddy: :)
Me: That's the industry I believe
Maddy: yeah... so we should be humble when we switch or ask during appraisal
Maddy: even if deep down we feel.. jyada toh nahi maangra
Maddy: :P
Me: That's the only chance we have to rip em off
Me: Once u join, things reverse
Maddy: u know what.. i think because of us IT ppl.. the cost of living has increased and others too suffer
Maddy: kerala mein in 25 lacs mein mast 3 bhk wala bada ghar banta
Maddy: idhar maa ki aankh 1 bhk mein kahun duur city ke bahar
Me: Hahahaaa
Me: And here in mumbai that 450 sq ft cage costs a crore and 27
Maddy: :D
Maddy: ek common system hona chahiye.. ppl should have ranks like in defence services and pay should be according to that
Me: Fuck man , back in my home city I can get a lake palace for this much dough
Maddy: there should be a commitee which decids on the rank of he ppl as per their work
Maddy: :)
Me: I object my lord
Me: If so happens the head of that commitee would become a virtual demi god
Maddy: dude.. here we have lot of such commitee where ppl rule.. in my suggestion there would be only one
Me: We need an anna hazare in IT
Me: U r a super strong prospective candidate
Maddy: ha ha
Me: Let's stage an uprising for the IT lokpal bill
Me: I am an awesome supporter
Me: I can light candles and forward emails
Me: ;)
Maddy: din bhar anshan karenge and raat ko tandoori and do do patiyala tika ke aish
Me: Of course, khaana hi padega
Me: If you a dba falls sick, imagine the business impact :D
Me: We can make good money
Maddy: u goof up something and i won't be there to look into the issue and we'll blackmail
Maddy: super
Me: Let's put in a rfp with the indian govt for this
Me: I'll draft up a business plan
Maddy: jhakaas
Year 2010
It has been more than a year since this :
and more than 9 months since this :
and nothing has changed. Life is still as unpredictable as always, office sucks daily as it has for the past 4 or so years and theres nothing new, not at least now or in the near future. I miss Pune! Its that time of the year when I feel like this, again :
The year is now inching towards its end. I need to do something to remember this year by. Man I'm bored. Thats does it....I'm makin some calls and heading off to Goa. Anybody who's interested, free and/or not providing weekend support to critical business applications are invited.
For some motivation theres always YouTube :)
Happy New Year people !!
Facts
After being berojgaar for a whole day, I joined a new software company, but the enthusiasm faded rather too quickly than I had imagined. Waiting to hear from my manager I was made to spend my whole day in the library (for the first time ever in my life !)
# 1: No matter what IT company you join, you will be treated as a dork.
# 2: Your perceptions always lead you astray and you end up in a more bigger, fancier looking shit hole no better than the previous one.
#3 : Your manager is going to be a super asshole and no one ever is going to give a damn abt you.
Maaaaan.... !! This whole IT thing is such a drag !!
So, its finally here !
21st or 22nd July 2007
A few days after the 30 of us, bunched together as Batch 4, had commenced our life as SW trainees. First week of training was in its full swing and the hearts were overflowing with enthusiasm. Time passed we got to know each other, we were made to train together blah blah ....and to sum it all up things were going good (not from the financial perspective).
I was just out of college. To leave behind the typical college lifestyle was really a challenge but the real pain , in my case, was to part ways with my friends. CS final year, thats what we were called. Maaaan that brings back memories, sigh !
I had stepped on pune platform with a preconceived notion that all carefree life style is now history and all I'm gonna get here are die hard developers (mostly marathi speaking) who will only look up from their TFTs to either attend a meeting, fetch water or go take a leak. I was correct but only to a minimal extent. Before I knew it the batch of 30 had churned out many great people, FRIENDS !!
When I reflect back on time I can vaguely recall that the idea of finding friends in a foreign state had been a far cry, but all turned out to be beyond expectations. I had a bunch of ppl I could call friends, have lunch/tea with . That half an hour of tea time used to be a bliss, a stress reliever like none other.
But whenever I turned to get back at my desk a thought always crossed my mind: " Lets see for how long the good times continue". It has been more than two years now and the time is finally here when the chapter of "My first IT job" finds its place in respective memoirs. Just a handful of us are left here and its just a matter of time before each and every one of us finds himself in another well paying, better organization (with aliens of course!).
Everyone I met here are wonderful people and probably another bunch of gems would be hard to find !
p.s. I am not lucky enough to get to leave my stinkin organisation yet. This post is for ppl who are to/have resigned or are flying onsite.
TOTA
New York.
Farjiest movie of all times !! I remember clearly that at one point of time I was scared that I will be bored to death. Any scene with Kat missing was a burden. Anyways the movie sure did use a fantabulous term.... TOTA :D (Slang for hot chicks). Guys definitely knowthe definition of TOTA but its actually surprising that the gals have the term's definition all mixed up! (as shown below )
GJ: Your fundas abt TOTA are mixed up
R : :)
R : :D
R : please explain then
R : :)
R : i m going on neil and johns version of tota
R : they called katrina tota
R : katrina = nice
R : so katrina = tota
We dont call some girl TOTA just because shes nice ! We call her TOTA long before we even know that shes nice or her name or anything for that matter. Its more like, u see a cute chick (cute means more like HOT ) and a voice calls from within TOTA TOTA !! Its difficultto put it into words or even formulate a precise definition of a TOTA ! I guess you have to be a guy to know whos a TOTA and whos not !
I like TOTAs :D
Google Voice
Sounds awesome !! Just check out its home page here. I just cant wait to get an invite and try all the stuff out. The only thing to be given a thought is the second link on the page.... "Listen in - Listen before taking a call" . Chances are I might not hear anything but some person breathing on the other side :). The only way to find out is to check it out first hand !!
p.s. I hope their services are available in our unique country.....India !!
p.s. I hope their services are available in our unique country.....India !!
Aarghhh !!
Yes! That’s what I was burdened with all evening yesterday. One stupid website goes down for one hour and I being the only person working, gets bombarded by a series of crappy emails (Yes, I work for technical support). Today I get bored like anything coz there hardly any work. I’m already done listening to songs and troubling people in my chat list and it’s not even 4'o clock!
Life was never so unpredictable.
p.s.: Posted from the work place @ 3:48 PM IST
The Zoozoos
Simply marvelous characters ! Genesis of Prakash Varma, ad film maker and the director of the new Vodafone Ads being aired during the IPL. It had been long since such ads (like the Intels Blue man Group ). Unlike most ads they communicate the message right across. Here is my favourite:
23rd Apr
Election holiday in Pune. What a crappy day ! Today I realised, again, that boredom can kill you ! I'm just so relieved that I will be leaving for Indore tomorrow and wont be working for a whole week !! A 5 day leave is indeed a rare thing afterall.
Mumbai Diary -- Part 2
Me: " Sure, I'm going to Andheri too."
She : "Great, thanks !!"
Me : "Gimme a minute"
A few minutes later both of us were sitting in an auto-rickshaw which was caught in a traffic jam shortly after we had set off. All I was doing was staring at the meter probably because I was yet to be convinced abt what had just happened.
"Biscuits?", a sudden question slapped me back to reality and there they were, a pack of good day cashew biscuits stretched out towards me. Greedily, I put my hand in the pack and pulled of three of the conversation starters. THREE!! Why the hell did I have to pull out three at once? I asked myself and before I was done with cursing my self I noticed that she had a smile on her face. "No breakfast" was all I could manage to utter. Her smile widened and a simple gesture of hers made everything all right once again.
Nibbling on the yummy biscuits I asked " So, u in IT ? "
She: "TCS, Pune"
Me: "JAVA?"
She: "Dot Net and you?"
Me : "Oracle Apps, Finance Support" (someone had told me this sounds cool, but trust me there’s nothing like it)
I was so glad she did not ask where I worked. Anyways, after exchanging a few dialogues, which you should expect two IT engineers to exchange during the downtime, I was convinced that this conversation is becoming a liability, and it was, at least for me and the heat wasn’t making anything easier. A change in topic was necessity of the moment. So I began:
" Where to? A relatives place or a friend’s?"
"Bhavans College?"
"Huh ??"
"Yeah, I got an interview at SP Jain College (MBA)"
(Silence)
(Long Silence)
"What a 98, 99 in CAT?"
" 98.7"
(Silence)
All the alarms in my head went off screaming, "ALERT! ALERT! Smart Girl, Smart Girl!!"
F@*!, that reply of hers had proved to be a hammer on the thin glass of my confidence, which was now shattered by the intensity of the impact. I wasn’t able to muster enough strength to speak! I felt as if I had a milestone around my neck, which was getting heavier by the moment.
In the mean time we had arrived at her destination. Both of us got off, said out bbye and thanks, I added a 'Best of luck', she replied with a thanks, and that was pretty much it. I got back in the auto rubbing my eyes and told the rickshaw driver: " Kandivali, West "
He turned around, gave me an amazed smile and off we were.
Mumbai Diary -- Part 1
Saturday,
06:30 Hrs
In my sleep I felt as if something was crawling on my hand. I reluctantly opened my eyes and found a kid, standing in the passageway, dragging his Hot Wheels car on my hand, trying hard to match the dragging with the Vroommmm-Vroommmm sound he was making. I gave a jerk to my hand and shooshed him away to his parents. It was at this very point I realized that the bus wasn't moving !
I went like what the hell just happened, where am I. The driver was missing, so was his helper, the AC was on , of the bus was empty and yeah that cute chick was sleeping like a log.Wow !! She looked even prettier in her sleep. Legs crossed, one hand over the other , head back , sigh. Coming back to my senses I inquired a bit and some person told me pointing through the window "White dress, in front of the police chowky, thats our driver". No one seemed to know anything much so I thought I'll get there and find things out my self. So I put on my glares and a step out of the bus where I was welcomed by a burst of hot-hot air which reminded me that summer was here. The constable in charge , called Shinde saheb by the others, told me that our driver had no license and that they were not letting him go anytime soon. The helper assured me that a new someone will arrive in about an hour or may be late and only then the bus will move. Without a word I turned around went back to the bus , determined not to travel without the AC in the hot-n-humid climate.
Once I was in, I overheard that kid (the one with the car) " Dad, when are we gonna reach Water Kingdom ?" I told them that the bus wont move for another hour so they might wanna leave early. They seemed to like the idea and started packing things up. I was back on my seat ready to doze off again and suddenly a sweet voice called from behind "Excuse me , excuse me " I turned around and whoha it was that cute chick.
She : You just had a talk with the driver right ?
Me : Yup
She: So whats the news ?
Me : The bus ain't moving for another hour may be even late.
She : Oh my god, I am getting late. would you mind sharing an auto ? I have to go till Andheri.
Wrongly reading my blank face she added after a brief pause " Ohh east, Andheri east. Thats two stops from here"
Watch this space for part -2
06:30 Hrs
The bus finally arrived ,as usual 20 mins late and pulled up along the sidewalk. As I got in I found a damn cute girl staring right at me and suddenly she stared smiling! At that moment I realized that I was the one who had smiled first and I still was ! By that time I had found my seat diagonally opposite to hers across the passageway. I kept my bag and I dont know why I gave a quick glance towards her seat and whoha she was smiling at me , again !! Shaking my head I plugged in my ear phones and dozed off.
In my sleep I felt as if something was crawling on my hand. I reluctantly opened my eyes and found a kid, standing in the passageway, dragging his Hot Wheels car on my hand, trying hard to match the dragging with the Vroommmm-Vroommmm sound he was making. I gave a jerk to my hand and shooshed him away to his parents. It was at this very point I realized that the bus wasn't moving !
I went like what the hell just happened, where am I. The driver was missing, so was his helper, the AC was on , of the bus was empty and yeah that cute chick was sleeping like a log.Wow !! She looked even prettier in her sleep. Legs crossed, one hand over the other , head back , sigh. Coming back to my senses I inquired a bit and some person told me pointing through the window "White dress, in front of the police chowky, thats our driver". No one seemed to know anything much so I thought I'll get there and find things out my self. So I put on my glares and a step out of the bus where I was welcomed by a burst of hot-hot air which reminded me that summer was here. The constable in charge , called Shinde saheb by the others, told me that our driver had no license and that they were not letting him go anytime soon. The helper assured me that a new someone will arrive in about an hour or may be late and only then the bus will move. Without a word I turned around went back to the bus , determined not to travel without the AC in the hot-n-humid climate.
Once I was in, I overheard that kid (the one with the car) " Dad, when are we gonna reach Water Kingdom ?" I told them that the bus wont move for another hour so they might wanna leave early. They seemed to like the idea and started packing things up. I was back on my seat ready to doze off again and suddenly a sweet voice called from behind "Excuse me , excuse me " I turned around and whoha it was that cute chick.
She : You just had a talk with the driver right ?
Me : Yup
She: So whats the news ?
Me : The bus ain't moving for another hour may be even late.
She : Oh my god, I am getting late. would you mind sharing an auto ? I have to go till Andheri.
Wrongly reading my blank face she added after a brief pause " Ohh east, Andheri east. Thats two stops from here"
Watch this space for part -2
Corroded Colors
For the first time in the past 6 long years I was sitting like a doofus in front of a LCD screen on the beautiful day of HOLI. The only colors I saw were the blue/green forms of Remedy. Ohh yeah I must not forget to mention the few animated emails (forwards), which I received, in eastman color ( 32 bit ). The occasional gtalk chat popups , which said Happy Holi , remimded me time and again that I am alive but the effect seemed to wear off gradually.
I truly believe that eventually I will cease to acknowledge all such magnificent days which I look forward to. I unwillingly and hatefully expect all such beautiful days , henceforth , to be splattered with corroded colors.
Anyways, I hope u guys had a geat time and enjoyed your day.
Happy Holi people !!
Disturbia
Bad news yet again, another friend got fired ! I now finally have an answer to one of my most delirious questions which has been unanswered for what seemed to be an eternity to me.
Q : what am I now ??
A : A mere resource !!
Resource : available source of wealth; a new or reserve supply that can be drawn upon when needed
I think they should append the following words @ the end to make the definition more versatile :
and thrown out when not
ps : I wish this wasn't true.
Q : what am I now ??
A : A mere resource !!
Resource : available source of wealth; a new or reserve supply that can be drawn upon when needed
I think they should append the following words @ the end to make the definition more versatile :
and thrown out when not
ps : I wish this wasn't true.
The Idiot box
I was totally freaked out by what was going around as evident in my earlier post so I switched off the TV and started watching videos on youtube. I was slapped into reality by a sudden rattling noise which had originated from the TV. My parents and my brother were there looking at something and smiling. This is what I found out upon investigation :
How interesting ! That guy looked to be more of a Mogambo than an astrologer (no offence intended ) with all those golden straps and dangling chains. ppl were supposed to call on the mentioned number and seek advice on how to strengthen their relationship(s). I wasn't much surprised until a lady called and actually received a beauty tip hidden flawlessly behind some lame reason ! ( I couldn't capture that frame in time )She was asked to make a paste of powered sandal wood in rose water and apply it twice a day.
I guess some people are pretty naive and lack the much required expertise. Whatever the reason may be, these people really proved that TV indeed is an idiot box which now a days is simply a waste of time ( exclusive of good movies ).
How interesting ! That guy looked to be more of a Mogambo than an astrologer (no offence intended ) with all those golden straps and dangling chains. ppl were supposed to call on the mentioned number and seek advice on how to strengthen their relationship(s). I wasn't much surprised until a lady called and actually received a beauty tip hidden flawlessly behind some lame reason ! ( I couldn't capture that frame in time )She was asked to make a paste of powered sandal wood in rose water and apply it twice a day.
I guess some people are pretty naive and lack the much required expertise. Whatever the reason may be, these people really proved that TV indeed is an idiot box which now a days is simply a waste of time ( exclusive of good movies ).
Enigma
Red and shades of red are definitely the colour of the season. Weather it be the red roses or pink slips both these things were seen floating around, as expected, in ample abundance.
Apart frm the colours a lot has been going around lately. Global financial meltdown, recession , terrorism , India's Interim budget, India-Srilanka 20-20 game are a few to mention. My chain of thoughts made me recall the infamous Manglore pub case which in turn reminded me of something. As it was 14th Feb and in accordance with my expectations all that was on news channels were 10-15 seconds long footages of one or more couples being cornered by some orthodox political lunatics and inhumanly humiliated. I mean its freaking absolute blasphemy !!
I do agree that immoral acts should be prevented and our culture be protected and preserved but why do that in such a fashion. Promoting our culture and bringing in other relevant changes could be a much easier road to travel. This perspective is utterly disregarded considering that the western culture is the one debauching the Indian youth.
During the budget Mr. Pranab Mukherjee, the foreign minister, correctly quoted "Terrorism emanating from Pakistan is a direct train to India". Ok, Mr. Mukherjee will take care of Pakistani terrorists ( lol )but who is to take care of this temporal insanity which occurs every February the 14th within the country ?? I guess this enigma will remain unsolved for centuries to come.
As a person working in IT I already have a millions things to worry about and these self proclaimed moral cleaners give me one more !
Apart frm the colours a lot has been going around lately. Global financial meltdown, recession , terrorism , India's Interim budget, India-Srilanka 20-20 game are a few to mention. My chain of thoughts made me recall the infamous Manglore pub case which in turn reminded me of something. As it was 14th Feb and in accordance with my expectations all that was on news channels were 10-15 seconds long footages of one or more couples being cornered by some orthodox political lunatics and inhumanly humiliated. I mean its freaking absolute blasphemy !!
I do agree that immoral acts should be prevented and our culture be protected and preserved but why do that in such a fashion. Promoting our culture and bringing in other relevant changes could be a much easier road to travel. This perspective is utterly disregarded considering that the western culture is the one debauching the Indian youth.
During the budget Mr. Pranab Mukherjee, the foreign minister, correctly quoted "Terrorism emanating from Pakistan is a direct train to India". Ok, Mr. Mukherjee will take care of Pakistani terrorists ( lol )but who is to take care of this temporal insanity which occurs every February the 14th within the country ?? I guess this enigma will remain unsolved for centuries to come.
As a person working in IT I already have a millions things to worry about and these self proclaimed moral cleaners give me one more !
Barrett M107
You dont wanna be where theres one of these :
